it isnt often that i have time to just sit..especially at work. i happened across something on another blog site that kind of stirred some interest and some sorrow. im not going to focus on the sorrow part.. that is irrelevant. once someone has made a choice to follow a certain road, there is nothing that one can do to change their mind. what i do want to focus on is the interest..
it is a “profession/occupation/lifestyle choice” that is probably as old as time. in these modern times, most of them are known as “sugar babies“. women that find older men (sugar daddies) to finance their lifestyles, bills and what not. most people would label them as “mistresses” (some actually are) others would name them as “high class hookers/ highly functioning prostitutes“. i am going to refrain from judging, but i do want to bring up a point. most of these women and their sugar daddies understand that this is nothing more than a financial arrangement. money/ material compensation for services rendered. not all of the women actually sleep w/ their benefactor. most often than not, the gentleman wears the girl on his arm as a trophy. something that he gets to show off to the other boys in the billionaire boys club. some guys were a rolex… who am i to judge if one of the guys can afford to have a living, breathing trophy on his arm?
for me, i guess the rub is this. it is one thing to attach yourself to a man as a trophy, but when you dont tell the guy that this is the arrangement… and you lead him to believe that there is a real relationship happening… i believe there is some type of “sugar baby” moral code that you have knowingly violated.
as a guy, if i meet up with a girl… id like to know up front whether the girl i am seeing is going to be a commodity or an actual person that i can develop feelings for. the reason? i dont always flash my wealth around… what kind of wealth? hmmmmm my only liability is my house note… lets leave it at that. everything else i have is paid for. flashing cash is not something that my parents raised me to do. i am comfortable enough with myself, my proven cash reserves that i feel confident enough to dress and live as a simple guy raising his kids, than to follow the flashy lifestyle of the other men that live in the same neighborhood as i do. i dont need the “wooooo look at me!!” beemer, hummer, lexus, audi or what ever the latest trend is. i have driven at least one of each of those cars… eh, they are cars. they get me from point a to point b and thats it. so, if i run into a woman that wants to be “taken care of”, then i have a level of expectation just like a car. you had better be able to perform well enough to justify my expenses or your price tag. if you dont, believe me, i will send the word out to the other men that i associate with and your name will become mud. i guess the fact that i dont want a woman to want me for my money is one reason that i just dont trust most women in general.
tying this back to the original topic… a lot of the women that ply that “trade” of being a sugar baby, many of them are actually college grads with some of them actually having a masters degree in politics, philosophy, law or business. the quality ones are by no means the typical high priced stripper. i would assume that for them (sugar babies) to be able to perform their role as arm candy, it would require them to be able to interact with their benefactors associates and have an intellectual understanding of the business that the benefactor engages in. it would only be logical. it is in this regard that just like any other career, the education and performance is/should be enough to justify the cost. morally. would i encourage this type of lifestyle to my own daughters… absolutely not. i like to think that i could instill enough sense of moral worth into my girls that they would not want to be at the beck and call of any man much less make their bodies into a exchangeable commodity.
i would assume that as with all things… being a sugar baby, you would have a finite shelf life. over time, either the benefactor gets bored with you, finds someone new he wants to exchange you for, or the ravages of time take its toll. it is at this point that i would begin to question if there is life after being the “trophy wife” or the sugar baby? what happens to your ways and means of supporting yourself? just like the nurse that becomes known as the doctors toy/mistress… once he dumps your for someone new.. how do you go back to working amongst your peers with all of them whispering about your illicit affairs behind your back? seriously, there is no quality of life for the tainted nurse. there is no hospital that she can go to that she wont be known. i wonder if it is the same for the sugar baby? even if she has a degree, how does she explain all the years that have gone by and she has zero experience to show for her education in that field? im sure the other men of weath that would/might see her in the work place or at a corporate party would talk about her and work would again get out. its just my opinion… but what kind of quality of life is that? maybe i missed something in my analysis?
in conclusion of this really random thought, i would say this: if you are a sugar baby and are going to be in a material relationship with a guy… make sure that you let your intentions (price tag/expense sheet) be known up front. dont make a guy believe that there is really something there when you know that there will never be one. human beings have these things called feelings. some are good at hiding them, some are good at protecting what they show.. and then there are those that wear their hearts on a sleeve. be considerate, you never know when your gravy train is going to end and you will be on the receiving end of what you dished out so long ago.
numquam frangere, confidunt, promissa, cordibus